Thank You. THANK YOU

I know it was the good vibes.

When I wrote on Saturday about dreading my trip to San Diego, explained why, and asked for your positive thoughts, prayers, and good vibes, you, my dear readers, were quick to respond. You commented on my post, replied on facebook, tweeted your support.

It made me feel stronger.

I met my sister at her friend’s house in Carlsbad. Our uncertainty (dread? fear? uneasiness? So many word choices.) about our upcoming meeting with Aunt Lois almost, but not quite, took the joy out of our reunion. I haven’t seen Lisa since last Christmas, so we were really happy to see each other. It was the circumstances that were bringing us down.

On our drive toward San Diego, we discussed what we wanted to accomplish. First and foremost, we wanted to get into the room without Lois getting very upset. screaming, and kicking us out. I asked Lisa what the plan was if that happened. “Wait her out,” she said, “she’ll have to stop eventually.”


Aunt Lois in another life, as a singer/dancer in the well known group The Establishment (lower left, in the hat).

We arrived at the rehab center, which seemed a reasonably nice nursing home close to downtown (and not too far from Lois’ apartment). It was clean, the people seemed nice and caring, and it smelled like food, not, well not some of the bad things you could imagine.

Without going into details, I will say that of all the things that Lisa and I imagined happening during our visit, what actually happened was not among them. After warning the on-duty nurse that there might be some “issues,” Lisa and I warily entered Aunt Lois’ room and…nothing.. She greeted us like it had been a week since we’d seen her. She was excited and happy to see us. She even told me that she’d expected to see me on the 19th. Huh?

As the saying goes, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. We had a nice visit. As I mentioned in my last post, Lois is smart and funny, and can be a joy to be around. It is that damn brain injury that gets in the way. You never know what you’re going to get, wonderful, funny Lois, or angry, sad, disturbed Lois. We spent several hours with her and were able to discuss some of the issues, including long term care, with her. No decisions yet, but we’ve made a start.

She’d be happiest if we could move her back to Los Angeles. She’d lived for a long time in Encino, in the San Fernando Valley, and she’d love to be back there. So Lisa and I will look into it. We also have to learn about Medi-Cal, Medicare, nursing homes, and a lot more.

But, we’ll be doing it with Lois’s blessing and cooperation. At least for now. She’s trying to focus on putting on some weight and getting stronger (to that end, we picked her up some vegan chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joe’s. Sometimes calories are calories.)

I feel like we’ve opened a door of communication, a path back to our old relationship, a chance to help her without her fighting us all the way.

And it’s all because of your good vibes. Thank you.

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  1. says

    I’m sorry I missed the last post, but I am really glad to hear that your visit went well! Neurological traumas are so hard to “deal with”, because you never know what’s going to spark in the person’s brain from moment to moment. Hopefully you will have more visits like these!
    TriGirl recently posted..Masters of the Swim UniverseMy Profile

  2. says

    I’m glad that your visit with your aunt went well. I’m also very happy that you and your sister haven’t given up on her. It’s way to easy to forget about a family member who is difficult to deal with because of their illness, but you two are amazing to go out of your way to make sure that she is doing well, even if it means having not-so-great visits with her. Everyone deserves a niece like you!
    Sylvia @ Frolic Through Life recently posted..Rock ‘n Roll Brooklyn 10k 2012My Profile

  3. says

    I was out of town so didn’t know about the worries, but I’m glad to read that it went better than expected. We have to have a similar talk with our own mom soon, and we are definitely NOT looking forward to that experience. She has no brain damage, yet is remarkably stubborn and refuses to make a plan. I hope your future endeavours are also as smooth.
    AlexandraFunFit recently posted..Hamstring Stretches: 3 Wrong & 3 Right WaysMy Profile

    • says

      I’m still worried when we have to have “the talk.” We skittered around the edges, but we’re going to have to hit it head on soon. I’m a little scared (nervous, unsettled?) about that conversation.
      Debbie recently posted..Thank You. THANK YOUMy Profile

    • says

      Thanks for the good vibes! I felt them while we were dealing with all of this. Unfortunately, I had a three hour drive home on Sunday evening so we didn’t get too much time together. Our time spent was good though and she’ll be back in a few weeks and hopefully we’ll get fun time.
      Debbie recently posted..Thank You. THANK YOUMy Profile

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