The Way It All Came Out

>I will get right to the question you have all been asking, “So, how did it all come out?”

The answer, “It was great.”

Now, to back up a little, as I posted on Saturday, Alan received a call from a man who told him that he was his son. After spending a restless Friday night, he was up early on Saturday, on the internet, on the telephone to his new-found daughter-in-law, just finding out what he could about this man, Kelly. It didn’t take long to find a picture:

Aren’t they beautiful? Alan’s son & his wife

A close up look of this and other pictures shows very clearly (as Kelly’s adoptive mom, who was helping research told him) that there is a very definite resemblance between the two men. The eyes, eyebrows, and ears are so similar as to be almost scary. We also found pictures of the two boys, 5-year old twins. The excitement was building. So much so, that Alan was on the phone at about 6:00 am on Saturday morning, speaking to his new daughter-in-law, Lisa.  She told him that she had instigated the search, now that she had two sons, she wanted to find out their background.

When you read a story like this, family separated by adoption or other things, it always seems that they are across the country from each other and it takes months of phone calls, letters, emails, and other arrangements before the long-lost family finally have an opportunity to meet.

Not this time.  Kelly lives in Huntington Beach, a two hour drive from La Quinta, a great beach town that Alan and I visit a couple times a year, most recently, last Independence Day, when Alan announced their annual holiday 5k. The race, by the way, takes place only blocks from Kelly’s house.

So on the phone, early Saturday morning, Lisa and Alan devised a plan (pending, of course, approval from Kelly).  Alan and I were headed up to Ventura on Saturday, where he would announce a triathlon the following morning. Our plan, then was to drive down the coast, and meet up with Alan’s son. Less than 48 hours after the first phone call.

Sunday morning, we took care of business as quickly as possible.  Of course, Alan was announcing the triathlon, and doing the award ceremony, so it was about 2:00 when we finally started down the coast toward Huntington Beach. Kelly and Lisa were welcoming us into their home, just a block off of the Pacific Coast Highway, near the HB pier. We finally arrived, shook off the stage-fright, and walked to their front door.

 The eyes (and eyebrows) have it. Just look at the resemblance!
 Yes, those eyes, through the generations!

Lisa welcomed us into her home, where we soon met two beautiful, energetic boys, fraternal twins, five years old. Then, finally, Kelly comes down the stairs. I felt like I had been holding my breath waiting for this moment. As Alan and Kelly tentatively greeted each other, I let out that breath, knowing that however this evening went, something wonderful was happening right now.

 Ah, the grandsons.  Five years old, full of energy.

We really had a nice time. Lisa is lovely.  She went to the trouble of preparing a vegan meal for us! The kids were a lot of fun, not understanding what was going on, but it was fun nevertheless, getting to meet our “new” grandsons. Best of all, though, was that Alan had an opportunity to meet and talk to his son, this 42 year old man, whose existence was totally unknown to him before the weekend.

Some of the things we learned:  Kelly was adopted as an infant by two wonderful people who gave him a great home and an excellent upbringing.  In fact, his biological mom was able to choose his parents, based on profiles of three different couples. Kelly was an excellent athlete, starting quarterback all four years in high school, a good surfer, with golf as his current passion. He started playing not too long ago and has quickly become the winner at the local tournaments in which he plays. I have always described Alan as the kind of athlete who was good at any sport that he tried, whether it was baseball or golfing, running or triathlon. What is funny is that at Kelly’s age, Alan was also focused on improving his golf game, and had spent his younger years on a surfboard.

Lisa described her husband as a wonderful man, caring, funny, handsome (I could see that!), and a great father. His kids are following in their dad’s (and their grandfather’s) footsteps, surfing, playing baseball, and other sports.

 A great family photo, taken by a 5 year old

What comes next? Well, we’ll see. We certainly liked our new family.  We think they liked us. Alan is most definite that he wants a relationship with his son, a relationship that he was deprived of by circumstances that happened over 40 years ago. We would love to become a part of the children’s lives as well. Alan is impatient, he wants all this now. I want this for him as well, I just try to slow him down a little. So, we’ll see.

Over the last year and a half that I have been writing this blog, writing about my dogs, my family, my hysterectomy, and more, I have found this to be the most deeply personal thing that I have written. I have tried to share our feelings about this huge change in our lives. I am amazed that it was less than 72 hours ago when everything changed.

For the better.

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  1. says

    >Wow, this is such a great story and a wonderful beginning for so many lives. And for Alan's son to be close by is truly a blessing!

  2. says

    >Thanks for your comments. Alan and I are still overwhelmed by how our lives have changed in a short four days time. It is so exciting that it is hard to describe. The fact that they are so close and are great people makes it all even better.

  3. shelagh main says

    This is so touching…..brought a smile to my face…..Alan & I went to the same High School & I knew Kelly’s birth mom… happy that Kelly had wonderful parents but am saddened that Alan was not aware & not able to be part of his life when he was growing up….but at least now there is new birth & new beginnings & Father & Son can finally get to know each other….the void is finally filled…..


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